The Barbarian Way (Erwin McManus)

I just pray that I can eventually hear God's voice so clearly, and share it so eloquently, as does Erwin McManus. Let this sermon "barbarize" you.

Peace & Blessings.


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Almost Orthodox +

I am so tired of theological labels, "emerging" included. I don't really mind them as a reference point, but it irritates me when the first question a person asks within a religious discussion is "are you conservative or liberal?" Labels seem to be used to box people into one point of view, and a person adopting a certain pre-made label feels constricted in the amount of room they have to maneuver. Even if a "conservative" wanted to hold a "liberal" belief, they would feel hemmed in by their conservative friends and communities. Likewise for a "liberal."

Maybe I dislike labels so much because there's not one for me, except "emerging" of course, but "emerging" implies a destination at some point in the future. Most of us in the emerging conversation don't like to think about that, but it's an obvious assumption. However, our labels will be something new, neither liberal nor conservative. I imagine we'll have to create some kind of new vocabulary to define ourselves, if we even want to define ourselves. No matter how "emerging" I am, I always have an innate desire to identify my beliefs. This is at least necessary for genuine conversation to occur between two persons.

So my new self-designed theological identity is "Almost Orthodox +." I know it sounds clumsy and contradictory, but it at least gives a framework for others to work with in approaching conversations. In all my theological questioning and re-adjusting, I've surprised myself in coming almost full circle back to near orthodoxy. I believe in the virgin birth, the perfect life, and the bodily resurrection of Christ. I believe in the Trinity. But..... I don't believe the Bible is inerrant, that Christ's death was substitutionary, or in a literal heaven or hell. I know it's strange to see a self-proclaimed emergent identifying himself theologically. It's so systematic! But we all believe something, and not being upfront about that doesn't erase the fact. There have to be things to converse about.

So, I believe almost enough to make me orthodox, not quite enough to be considered conservative, and then there's a +. The "+" is the most important part of my label. I believe in the virgin birth, perfect life, the resurrection of Christ, and the Trinity + I believe a person doesn't have to believe in those things to be a Christian. I don't believe in inerrancy, the substitutionary atonement, or a literal heaven or hell + I believe you can believe those things and still be a Christian. In other words, my new label isn't a one size fits all label. It leaves room for the other that isn't quite or at all like me.

I suppose the biggest problem I have with labels is their exclusivity. Traditionally, according to labels, a person is either in or out of the club. I am tired of man-made barriers to building the kingdom of God on earth. Are you an inerrantist? Fine by me - partner with me to welcome people into the Kingdom. Do you believe in a literal hell? Whatever - partner with me to welcome people into the Kingdom. It's natural to build communities around likenesses. It's supernatural to build them around differences.

Peace & Blessings.

Surface Christianity

I suppose dogmas have always been a part of the organizational church since the times of the Church Fathers. Though there is much controversy surrounding the formation and use of the following passage from Philippians, it is considered by many scholars to be one of the first hymns used in the early church, and may also have served as a type of creed:

6Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross! 9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, 10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

As a hymn, this is beautiful, and there is not much in it to ruffle the feathers of orthodox Christians. However, it is a product of Pauline theology, and it should be noted that Christ never promoted or suggested creeds of any kind. He usually taught in parables which were (and are) constantly subject to various interpretations. It seems that the teaching style of Christ, and most other teachers of his time, was designed to make people come to their own conclusions. I am not saying there was no point of truth in the teachings of Christ, but that the truth was multi-layered and relative to the hearer's progress on life's journey. Unlike Paul and other NT writers, Jesus rarely presented a statement of doctrinal truth as necessary belief. His whole ministry was designed to attract followers, not doctrinally correct theologians.

I think two portions of the gospels present this side of Jesus better than any others: Matthew 11:28-29, and John 21:15-19.

28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

15When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs." 16Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep." 17The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." 18Jesus said, "Feed my sheep. I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." 19Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, "Follow me!"

Following Christ is the focus of the gospel. Some of his disciples did not really know who Jesus was. Matthew 16 tells the story of Jesus asking his followers who they thought he was. Some said John the Baptist, some said Elijah, and some said Jeremiah. Peter eventually says that Jesus is Christ, the son of God. Jesus blesses Peter for his answer, but does not scold the others for their answers. Though this passage is often used by preachers to proclaim the divinity of Christ (and I have no argument with that), a deeper point is that Jesus accepted followers who were not aware of his divinity.

So what about creeds and dogmas? What purpose do they really serve in light of Jesus' acceptance of followers not aware of his divinity? From a human standpoint, I think dogmas serve to massage the ego, to place certain people within a community, and to place others outside the community. It's really all about a reversion to law vs. grace. People with correct answers are in; people who are passionate disciples but don't believe the dogmas are out. This may be a Pauline way of doing things, but it certainly isn't a Jesus was of doing things. [Don't get me wrong, I love Paul, but I am a disciple of Christ]

Surface Christianity depends too much on right belief, and too little on right action. It seems that Jesus was more concerned with conversion as process (i.e. following him) than conversion as belief. When Christianity becomes a set of beliefs, a series of creeds, it diminishes into something Christ never intended. He desires zealous followers who love him, no matter what idenity they assign to him. No doubt, there are myriad more zealous "Christians" who've never heard the name of Christ, than those who claim the name "Christian" and have all the correct answers.

Peace & Blessings.

Wrestling With God

I can see it now. The lights dim, people in their pews (chairs, whatever) waiting with bated breath for the ultimate smackdown. The mic descends slowly from the ceiling overhead the ring, a minister wearing black spandex waiting to make his announcement. D-Generation X blares over the multiple Panaray MB-4 modular bass loudspeakers strategically located around the periphery of the sanctuary. Mic now in hand, the ministers yells, "Let's get ready to rumble", drawing out "rumble" for maximum effect. Ah, I can only imagine.....

What if we approached God, more often than not, with an attitude of confrontation rather than submissiveness? What if we did this not just within the Community meeting, but also individually? I don't know about you, but sometimes I just get plain lethargic in worship services and in my personal journey. I am so used to saying "OK, God, have it your way", rather than "I don't think so. Let's go outside." I am not suggesting an attitude of defiance; rather, I am bemoaning our inability to question in order to discover. Take a look at the story of Jacob's wrestling match with God in Genesis 32: 22-32.

22The same night he arose and took his two wives, his two female servants, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23He took them and sent them across the stream, and everything else that he had. 24And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. 25When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his hip socket, and Jacob's hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. 26Then he said, "Let me go, for the day has broken." But Jacob said, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." 27And he said to him, "What is your name?" And he said, "Jacob." 28Then he said, "Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed." 29Then Jacob asked him, "Please tell me your name." But he said, "Why is it that you ask my name?" And there he blessed him. 30So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel, saying, "For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered." 31The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip. 32Therefore to this day the people of Israel do not eat the sinew of the thigh that is on the hip socket, because he touched the socket of Jacob's hip on the sinew of the thigh.

What has happened to this ancient tradition of fighting with God? It's not an avant-garde suggestion. All the prophets did it, and the wisdom books of the Bible are filled with questions, not answers. Why have we become so laissez-faire when it comes to following God? Jacob wrestled with God, breaking his leg in the process, and threatened God with continued fighting if he did not receive a blessing. How much more rich our journeys would be if would just learn to be comfortable with "fighting" God! It'd probably make His life a lot more interesting too.

Emerging, the Journey

Until very recently, I never thought there would be a spiritual place to call home. Everything Christian seemed so entrenched in propositions, that mystery had lost its rightful place in the journey of faith. I wondered if there was anyone else in the world who saw God as Mystery and faith as journey. Enter the Emergent Conversation.

Growing up in the deep South, a physical child of wonderful parents, but a spiritual child of modernist fundamentalism, I carried some baggage. "Some" doesn't quite do the amount of baggage I carried justice - it was (and sometimes still is) a U-Haul full of packed baggage. Despite the good intentions of my Christian school teachers, and hell-and-brimstone preachers, I was in a constant state of wondering about the security of my eternal salvation. Did I say the sinner's prayer correctly? With enough conviction? The onslaught of adolescence provoked uneasy questions, which sought heretical answers, producing guilty feelings and a deep sense of spiritual isolation.

Keeping up the act was paramount though, especially if I didn't want to lose my one and only personal money source - being the church pianist. On top of that, I was coming to realize the unwelcome fact that I was attracted to my best friend who just happened to be a boy. I sang about the love of Jesus, then endured a sermon on the fires of hell prepared especially for sodomites.

Keeping up the act led me to the hypocritical decision to marry, and attend a seminary (a Southern Baptist one to boot). All the while dreaming of a relationship with another man, and a God who would bless it, I finished my Bachelor's degree while my now ex-wife finished her Master of Divinity degree. Though she knew of my religious doubts, and my homosexuality, we both agreed to go into missions upon our graduation. After attending the missionary training course for our denomination, we were sent off to Asia for a two-year term.

It was unbearable after six months. I despised myself for being so hypocritical, for saying I believed so many things I did not, for "converting" people who I sensed were already covered by God's grace. It's strange that I always sensed God's grace on others, but never on myself. Had it not been of the culture shock accompanying everything else during our service, I would likely still be living in a framwork of legalism. Praise God for the things that seem as if they are going to destroy us, but only exist to bring us into His loving embrace!

The breaking point having occurred, my now ex-wife and I separated. The first thing I needed on the way to a realization of the all-enveloping grace of God was to recognize the sacredness of who I am in God's image. Coming to terms with God's willingness to bless my relationship with another man was step number one. Interestingly enough, celebration of my sexuality was not experienced as a part of God's plan at first. I hedonistically ran with it, doing all the things I ever dreamed of. I denied God's existence, proclaiming myself a queer atheist. And it felt good! I had never experienced such freedom. In hindsight, this experience shows me that journeys of faith rarely appear as puritanical as many think they should. However, they always lead to God's grace, love, acceptance, and truth.

I was then (and still am) living in Korea, teaching during the day, and partying at night. The partying was fun, but after a few months, I sensed something was missing. It started out as a small vacuum within, growing bigger until I finally questioned whether this "freedom" was the end of my story. Perhaps there was something more. I never really lost my attraction to Jesus, and my dusty Bible always "stared" at me from the bookshelf. I hated the Bible, but loved Jesus.

There was no really dramatic re-conversion experience for me. In fact, conversion as it is commonly seen by most evangelicals seems silly to me. How are a few words supposed to change anything? Isn't conversion supposed to be a process? A journey with Christ instead of a point approached and left behind? Isn't living a Christ-life more important than assenting to right theology? I came to see the Christian life in a much deeper way than my upbringing showed me. Anyone can rattle off rote theological truisms; the challenge lies in truly following. I don't even think many people know what following really means, particularly in Western culture, even more particularly in American culture. Aren't we too individualistic to follow someone, even Christ? Anyway, I knew things had to be different.

I desired mystery and journey. I "desired" them, not in the sense of wanting a piece of candy, but in the sense of deeply needing them. Then, I remembered God's words to Moses at the burning bush, "I Am." Period. What the hell is that? No explanations, no descriptions, no syste-freakin-matic theology! And then I thought, "There's a load of mystery in that, and I'm lovin' it!" What's the point in conversing/journeying with Someone you already know everything about?

All that to say, I am thankful God has brought me to the point in my life in which I realize His mystery, and by that, His immense beauty. And the strange thing is, the more mysterious He seems, the more wrapped up in His grace I feel. The more I love to worship and adore Him. Systematic theology kills that for me. It might do it for some people, but it kills the joy in following Christ for me.

So where am I now? In the middle of Nowhere with the Ultimate Someone. I can't speak Korean, and not many people I come into contact with can communicate with me well enough in English to be satisfying. I don't go to church, not because I think I'm better than my brothers and sisters here, but just because after experiencing God anew, I cannot go back to the old systems. And there's no emerging, postmodern fellowship here that I know of. But I do experience some amazing worship times in the most profane (see Eliade's usage) things: when one of my students shows pride in work well done, while listening to a superb organist, while making love to me partner, etc. I thank God for bringing me to Himself in exactly the way I needed, and for doing it while I'm in Korea. I know upon my return to the States, I'll never take for granted the accessibility of emerging fellowships to which I can belong and contribute.

Peace & blessings to all who read this.

*Anyone new to the Emergent Conversation within Christianity should not assume that all emergent participants approve of homosexual relationships by the content of my writings*